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I was so drunk i fell asleep on the metro downtown after an evening of heavy drinking and woke up to a metro attendant poking me, all dissoriented and still drunk, i make my way outside, not knowing what is what and make my way to a taxi, after a 30 min drive, and 5 mintues from my house, i remember my car was still downtown, then in the same taxi, i go all the way back, and realize the lot i had parked my car in was closed for the night

#88
1 Comments

I agree, you are screwed (18) - You deserved that one (21)

Dec 4, 2009 11:30 PM - Fail - by juelz

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At my going-away party my coworkers bought me endless amounts of shots. I made out with one of my coworkers' morbidly obese daughter, in his car, while he was in a store buying more booze. Later we continued the party at his place, where I was jumping off the roof of his house into his 4 foot pool- naked. I climbed into bed with his obese daughter, when his son came into the room and told me if I didn't get out now he would kick the shit out of me. Being a lover and not a fighter I obliged to his wishes and passed out. I woke up to a slew of swastikas and misc graffiti on my face. Moral of story: don't take oxycodone when it's offered to you by your friends, forgot to mention that.

#87
0 Comments

I agree, you are screwed (21) - You deserved that one (11)

Dec 4, 2009 10:23 PM - Shamings - by NWood612

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wokeup in the back of a dive bar in the middle of another island 200miles away from where i started off no idea how i got here still need to find a way back to guam fuck myself sitting at a bar in the phillipines wtb a ride or plane ticket back to guam

#86
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I agree, you are screwed (15) - You deserved that one (21)

Dec 4, 2009 07:51 PM - Fail - by sonar

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One night i decided I was going to get fucked up so i took 10 shots and went to a frat to drink more. The last thing i remember is being upstairs taking pulls of tequila on top of jaeger. I blacked back in in the middle of a field I've never seen, by myself, up to my knees in snow, 0 degrees, wearing my jeans, shoes, a t-shirt, and holding a three iron just swinging it into the snow. Evidently I made it halfway into my dorm room and passed out. Luckily some people walking by dragged me in and left me in the middle of the floor. Needless to say I missed my plane the next morning.

#85
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I agree, you are screwed (5) - You deserved that one (19)

Dec 4, 2009 07:35 PM - Fail - by Dmouth

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After a night of drunken antics, I woke up at 4:30 on a stranger's stoop, with pigeons eating dried vomit out of my hair.

#84
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I agree, you are screwed (24) - You deserved that one (7)

Dec 4, 2009 06:59 PM - Fail - by reddelicious1970

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I literally just woke up from last night. It's 4:30 in the afternoon. Last thing I remember was having phone sex with an ex-girlfriend, jerking off the in garage of a friends house, then sending her pictures of my penis. Mr. Daniels you are no gentleman.

#83
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I agree, you are screwed (29) - You deserved that one (20)

Dec 4, 2009 04:37 PM - Relationships - by sloshed in syracuse

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My friend's brother came down to Columbus, OH (where we live) and took us out to a bar. He was buying $1 shots by the tray. I had to get up early the next day to go to a play. When I awoke, I found a pool of vomit on my bed and my roommate's bunk beneath me. I had to throw up again after seeing this. I went into the bathroom, put down the lid and waited on the toilet until the next round of vomit. While sitting there (clothed) I farted. I looked down my pants to discover I had shit them. Of course I threw up immediately. It's not often you hear of someone shitting their pants while on a toilet...I love college.

#82
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I agree, you are screwed (14) - You deserved that one (35)

Dec 4, 2009 04:12 PM - Shamings - by BigHead

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Once I woke up in the back seat of my car parked up the street from where I grew up at 5 am on a work day, got out and immediately locked the keys in the cars. I knocked on my parents door explained that I didn;t know how I had gotten there and just need a place to sleep. Atonishingly they didn;t give me shit. I had spent the previous night with my girlfriend's best girlfriend who woke up in her own bed, naked, with a note on her refrigerator saying "thanks for a great night". To this day she claims it was not in my hand writing...

#81
0 Comments

I agree, you are screwed (19) - You deserved that one (3)

Dec 4, 2009 03:19 PM - Fail - by DGH

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