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Back in college, my freshman year dorm room was right next to the bathroom. I came home from work at 2am one cold February Sunday morning to find my windows open, snow in my room, and the unmistakable stench of vomit. When I went across the hall to find my roommate for an explanation, he told me one of the other guys on the floor came home just before me, thought our room was the toilet, and proceeded to yarf up his evening's alcohol cargo into my roomate's sock drawer. Later in the semester the same guy stumbled home and passed out in my bed. We woke him up with a strobe light and the stereo, set at volume 11, and nuclear explosion sound effect CD. Good times

#70
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I agree, you are screwed (5) - You deserved that one (15)

Dec 4, 2009 09:17 AM - Human Excretions - by Old Orangeman

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One night, I went out drinking with the people from work. I blacked out. Apparently we went to the diner, I passed out in the car on the way there, and they left me in the car when they went in. While they were enjoying their meal, the waitress came by to tell them that 'their friend' was peeing in the parking lot, in front of the huge picture windows where a few dozen diners were seated.

#67
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I agree, you are screwed (11) - You deserved that one (26)

Dec 3, 2009 04:01 AM - Fail - by PISSdrunk

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When I was drunk my buddies were getting pissed at me because apparently I wouldn't shut up about leaving the bar to get food at Wendy's. Eventually they said "fine" and we left. This is me a few hours later: http://imgur.com/CTNbp.jpg

#45
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I agree, you are screwed (39) - You deserved that one (38)

Nov 12, 2009 01:03 PM - Shamings - by Alex232

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My male friend was so drunk that he showed up to my house, thinking it was his even though he lives half an hour away. An hour later a drunk girl who knew my male friend came to the door thinking it was his house as well. She was morbidly obese, he had taken her 'home' and forgotten her, passed out, in his car. I was pissed, but karma worked out alright. She went into my room, where he had passed out and tried waking him up by sucking his dick. She fell asleep with his dick in her mouth and started chewing on it in her sleep. His dick was cut and bruised, but what did he expect from a girl who eats everything?

#39
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I agree, you are screwed (30) - You deserved that one (46)

Nov 2, 2009 12:28 PM - Fail - by TheSmartOne

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My worst/best drunk story involves some E&J brandy, karaoke, and a nude almost fist fight. I got incredibly drunk and went out to karaoke with friends. In fact, I was so drunk that I couldn't read along to the lyrics and faced the wrong way while doing my best Amy Winehouse impression. I left the bar at close without realizing I left my purse there too. Then I went home and proceeded to make out with my sister's friend (a girl, and I don't go that way), pee my pants, and fall asleep on the kitchen floor naked. When my roommate tried waking me up he was a bit perturbed. So, for whatever reason, I threatened to fist fight him and started pushing him. I'm still alive though!

#36
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I agree, you are screwed (12) - You deserved that one (49)

Oct 29, 2009 05:11 PM - Shamings - by meggo

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When I was drunk at a buddy's party, one of our friends got completely wasted and passed out. Another of our friends was blackout drunk at the time as well, and decided he wanted to teabag the passed out guy. So he climbs onto the recliner the guy was passed out in, drops trou, and right as he teabags him, accidentally shits a massive hershey squirt directly onto the guy's nose. The guy freaks out, pulls his pants up, and runs out of the party without another word. Moral of the story? Don't get too shitfaced or you'll get shitfaced.

#29
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I agree, you are screwed (50) - You deserved that one (7)

Sep 8, 6933 12:56 PM - Human Excretions - by N

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When I was drunk, I went to brush something off my cheek and it was the floor.

#24
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I agree, you are screwed (58) - You deserved that one (42)

Oct 22, 2009 08:13 PM - Fail - by Marlowe

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When I was stationed in Texas my buddies were drunk and decided to fuck with the one Private Pyle we had in our platoon. They stole Private Pyle's acne medication from his wall locker and jerked off into the bottle. The story spread like wild fire throughout the company. Private Pyle remains the only person who has not heard this story.

#22
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I agree, you are screwed (11) - You deserved that one (40)

Oct 19, 2009 10:24 PM - Human Excretions - by Jon Perry

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