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When I was drunk at a buddy's party, one of our friends got completely wasted and passed out. Another of our friends was blackout drunk at the time as well, and decided he wanted to teabag the passed out guy. So he climbs onto the recliner the guy was passed out in, drops trou, and right as he teabags him, accidentally shits a massive hershey squirt directly onto the guy's nose. The guy freaks out, pulls his pants up, and runs out of the party without another word. Moral of the story? Don't get too shitfaced or you'll get shitfaced.

#29
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I agree, you are screwed (50) - You deserved that one (7)

Sep 3, 6933 12:56 PM - Human Excretions - by N

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When I was drunk, my buddy's girlfriend was nice enough to be our DD. She drove us all around Santa Monica to different bars. It was about 1:15 in the morning and we stopped to get one last beer. At the bar my buddy started to tell me a story about how he was banging his girlfriend doggystyle when his dick slipped out of her hatchet wound and plunged into her butthole. When he pulled out, his girlfriend ripped a ferocious fart that my buddy described as, "an unholy stench." We heard a voice clear behind us and we realized that she had been standing there throughout the duration of the story. I don't think he got laid that night.

#11
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I agree, you are screwed (61) - You deserved that one (17)

Oct 18, 2009 06:33 PM - Human Excretions - by DannyBoy23

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When I was drunk my buddies were getting pissed at me because apparently I wouldn't shut up about leaving the bar to get food at Wendy's. Eventually they said "fine" and we left. This is me a few hours later: http://imgur.com/CTNbp.jpg

#45
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I agree, you are screwed (39) - You deserved that one (38)

Nov 12, 2009 01:03 PM - Shamings - by Alex232

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When I was drunk I passed out (or so I was told) in the bathroom of my neighbors apartment. When I woke up the next day I was duct taped to the bottom of my dining room table. Moral of the story? Don't have strong friends, and if you do, don't have more than one.

#14
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I agree, you are screwed (1) - You deserved that one (25)

Oct 19, 2009 01:42 PM - Shamings - by AdamMichelson

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I literally just woke up from last night. It's 4:30 in the afternoon. Last thing I remember was having phone sex with an ex-girlfriend, jerking off the in garage of a friends house, then sending her pictures of my penis. Mr. Daniels you are no gentleman.

#83
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I agree, you are screwed (29) - You deserved that one (20)

Dec 4, 2009 04:37 PM - Relationships - by sloshed in syracuse

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When I was drunk at my friend's 80s-themed party, I was sitting outside with a circle of friends telling some anecdote. The porch swing got the better of me and halfway through the story I abruptly hopped up, stumbled in a half-circle, fell down on all fours and started Linda Blair-ing VIOLENTLY into the planter. Dressed as Jem. My friends gathered round and laughed heartily at this spectacle until about the 8th or 9th heave, at which point it just got kind of awkward and quiet. The hilarity went up to 11as my body's convulsions caused me to let out trumpet farts in time to the remaining heaves, surrounded by 15 people. Moral of the story? Don't mix Jungle Juice and Irish Car Bombs.

#90
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I agree, you are screwed (8) - You deserved that one (25)

Dec 5, 2009 04:45 AM - Human Excretions - by TotallyOutrageous

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One night at my college my housemates and I had a keg party, the keg was kicked in a little under 3 hours, with lots of time left to party i started drinking redbull and vodkas excessively. Later on I was in the kitchen eating little debbies cupcakes, found my way to the living room sitting on the couch passing out and throwing up on myself, so my roomates brought me down to my room. As I was sleeping i began throwing up all over myself and my bed as my roomate was banging his girlfriend across the room, he stopped and asked me if i was alright...I jump and say yea yea yea im fine, notice the mess, rip the sheets off and flip the puke ridden bed over and proceed to pass out.

#71
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I agree, you are screwed (5) - You deserved that one (2)

Dec 4, 2009 09:23 AM - Sex - by Diddy

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One night some buddies from my platoon and I decided to party down in San Diego. When the night was coming to a close one of my buddies passed out on a couch. The three of us that were conscious decided that it was a good idea to take turns tea-bagging him. The first two were successful but when it was my turn at bat I slipped and fell butthole first on his face. He still doesn't know to this day.

#21
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I agree, you are screwed (3) - You deserved that one (27)

Oct 19, 2009 10:20 PM - Shamings - by Sir T Bag

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