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My friend's brother came down to Columbus, OH (where we live) and took us out to a bar. He was buying $1 shots by the tray. I had to get up early the next day to go to a play. When I awoke, I found a pool of vomit on my bed and my roommate's bunk beneath me. I had to throw up again after seeing this. I went into the bathroom, put down the lid and waited on the toilet until the next round of vomit. While sitting there (clothed) I farted. I looked down my pants to discover I had shit them. Of course I threw up immediately. It's not often you hear of someone shitting their pants while on a toilet...I love college.

#82
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I agree, you are screwed (11) - You deserved that one (34)

Dec 4, 2009 04:12 PM - Shamings - by BigHead

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I went to a Casino club w/ 3 friends & ordered two rounds of Jaeger-Bombs. We downed them, then ordered the same, then again, & again, & again until we each had 16 shots. Later I stumbled to the bathroom & threw up all over the stall (not just in the toilet). When I came out (stinking of puke) I stumbled across the hallway & crashed on a bench. Two security guards saw me & escorted me out. Outside I met my friend & he drove me home. He was drunker than I was. I threw up out the window all the way home as he drove 100mph. The next day we heard news that a guy got decapitated as he threw up out his window when his drunk-driving friend clipped a telephone poll. Moral = Don't drink and drive.

#78
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I agree, you are screwed (21) - You deserved that one (10)

Dec 4, 2009 01:45 PM - Fail - by Hammered

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There aren't usually many parties on campus at my college. One night my friends and I pregamed with some rum in our room before goin to a party because we didn't know if the party was dry or not. We got to the party (plenty of drinks btw) and went to town. Drank a can of beer while maintaining a constant supply of three more in my pockets. I don't remember anything after about 12. Woke up in the hospital the next morning wondering how the fuck I got there. No memory of what happened except that (from what I hear) someone named Soloman was takin care of me while I was puking. I have never and still don't know anyone named Soloman. Thanks Soloman.

#104
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I agree, you are screwed (13) - You deserved that one (19)

Dec 19, 2009 10:56 PM - Fail - by case

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Preface: I didn’t remember any of this until I saw the video. I blacked out one night and told my buddy to follow me with the video camera. I summoned the elevator of our apartment. When the door opened I walked in and immediately dropped trou. I defecated two massive logs on the carpeted floor, picked it up and hurled it against the wall. The shit plopped in a perfect circle and stuck. It was there for three days before some poor soul had to scrape it off. Moral of the story…. well I guess there is no moral.

#19
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I agree, you are screwed (53) - You deserved that one (11)

Oct 19, 2009 09:35 PM - Human Excretions - by Mad Shitter

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One night some buddies from my platoon and I decided to party down in San Diego. When the night was coming to a close one of my buddies passed out on a couch. The three of us that were conscious decided that it was a good idea to take turns tea-bagging him. The first two were successful but when it was my turn at bat I slipped and fell butthole first on his face. He still doesn't know to this day.

#21
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I agree, you are screwed (3) - You deserved that one (25)

Oct 19, 2009 10:20 PM - Shamings - by Sir T Bag

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When I was drunk last new years eve, I took a bunch of carbombs, passed out on the hardwood floor in my buds kitchen and puked all over the floor. When I came to I surveyed the area for my vomit which was gone. In its place was a very happy golden retriever. Moral of the story? Always Have a dog.

#4
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I agree, you are screwed (30) - You deserved that one (7)

Oct 16, 2009 08:04 PM - Animals - by BrothaJonze

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I came home to my apartment one night after a sorority event completely hammered. I was severely dehydrated from all the girly sugar shots I had consumed. I went to my desk and grabbed one of about ten water bottles that were sitting there. Without looking I threw back the bottle and downed it. Unfortunately I had previously used that water bottle as a spittoon from the Skoal I had dipped earlier. I repainted the walls with my own stomach bile. NG.

#10
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I agree, you are screwed (24) - You deserved that one (12)

Oct 18, 2009 06:14 PM - Human Excretions - by DemzLykeForties

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The night after I was drunk in Normandy, France on a post-graduation trip, my group's tour bus left for Omaha Beach at 7am in the morning. We got there and my buddy was boasting about how he got so drunk that he passed out, woke up, and hopped on the bus in the same clothes he wore the day before. I took out my digital camera to show him the pictures we took of him after we sharpied in a small mustache and dressed him up like Hitler when we noticed a warm frothy lather stained on the crotch of his pants – the same pants he was boasting about still wearing. Moral of the story? Always have a camera.

#5
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I agree, you are screwed (14) - You deserved that one (2)

Oct 17, 2009 04:48 PM - Human Excretions - by BrothaJonze

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